𝓭𝓲𝓪𝓻𝔂 𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼

Monday 7/06/20 11:32 PM

hey gamers its me, funk master flex

thought id check in with a journal entry. i wish i could say i was doing well but that is not the case. emotionally at least. i'm fine otherwise but my emotional/mental state has been the lowest its ever been during the past few weeks. for reasons i cant bring myself to admit in writing. i find myself withdrawing more and more. simple things are becoming painful. i have to constantly play music into my ears just to keep myself from spiraling into a dark place in my mind. i dont know how much longer i will feel like this. im afraid that things wont be the same anymore.

i hate being a downer but writing my feelings out helps a little bit i guess. you know what helps out a lot tho? playing animal crossing. i've been playing everyday since i got the game 2 months back. my island is pretty dang sweet. not as good as some of the ultra terraformed masterpieces out there but it is my happy place. i love my villagers and the little spots i put together. being in quarantine makes me really feel like im exploring my own little world. idk what life would be without it.

well, i dont really know what else to write about. i'll see you whenever. thx for stopping by as always!

Sunday 3/22/20 11:26 AM

heyyy wassup lmao first journal entry of 2020 and its during fucking quarantine

if you were to tell me a year ago i would be spending spring break of my junior year in college stuck at home during a pandemic i would have thought u were drinking way too much koolaid. but here we are. everything i've been looking forward to this year has been swept away so abruptly i barely have time to feel sad about it. I was supposed to go to Japan for a class this May but thats not happening. I especially feel bad for this years senior class, who won't be able to showcase their work at exhibition or walk for graduation. It's very sad, at the same time though i know this is necessary. i used to part of the population that thought everybody was overreacting and we all just needed to wash our hands and life could go on, but i'm now realizing just how selfish that is. its a scary time, but i'm trying to stay occupied. i've been spending a lot of time with my dogs and doing some baking.

i've missed being on neocities! i've almost forgotten how calming and nostalgic it is to work on my page. Perhaps I will be more active these next few months. Classes will be resuming online next week. I wonder how this will all go down. I hope everything settles down soon. Also, I read all the new messages on my guestbook. They made me smile so hard. Thank you all for stopping by my little corner of the internet :)

smell ya later

Tuesday 8/6/19 1:30 PM

wow i am really bad at journaling in a timely manner LOL. summer vacation is almost over...very bummed about that. tomorrow i head back to school for a week for campus job training. after that i go to kcon with my pals!!! im so excited im gonna see izone in concert ifhsjd im going APESHIT.

anyway, i wanted to take some time to put down how i've been feeling lately. summer drawing to a close as ive said earlier has got me feeling very melancholy these days. i have a hard time allowing myself to be vulnerable even in private, so i don't really know how to deal with these emotions other than ignore them. but i cant ignore for very long. i think part of the sadness comes from knowing that time is quickly passing. i'm entering my junior year of college. i turn 20 next month. im approaching adulthood and i don't know how to handle these developments. i don't want to be apart from my parents and family but i also don't want to be living under their jurisdiction for too long. i want to feel the freedom of adulthood but i'm afraid of the responsibilities and decisions that come with it. around this time next year i'll be a senior and preparing for graduation. whats going to happen to me after that?

THATS ANOTHER THING i have no idea how i'm gonna land a job after college or even an internship while i'm still in school. i feel a lot of inferiority when it comes to my artwork compared to my peers. i feel like i'm not doing enough to improve or network myself. so many people in my class are very impressive and i just...pale in comparision. but i guess school is for finding and improving yourself so i'm just gonna have to do that!

anyway thats about all the emotion im expressing outwardly for the rest of the year! smell ya later

Monday 7/8/19 7:35 PM

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy whats up. today is the day after anime expo 2019 and i already miss it so much T_____T i had such a good time with all my friends!!

my boyfriend and i were able to meet our long time online friends from louisiana for the very first time!! they are a couple just like us and i cannot believe we have been friends for 5 years now. i did love live cosplay with one of them as nico and maki. i accidentally ordered a size too small for my cosplay and i was dying but it was worth it. i should really lose some weight tho....ANYWAY

the highlight of my weekend would have to be meeting THE AUTHOR OF OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB HERSELF!!!!! I waited in line at 6 am just to secure autograph tickets and it was incredibly worth it. i got to shake her hand and talk to her!!! her identity is a very big secret. the autograph area was obscured by black curtains and she herself was in her own little curtained off area to preserve the mystery. i will treasure this experience for as long as i LIVE.

my feet are officially DEAD but i never get tired of it. i love this convention so much. sure LA gets all hot and earthquakey and the lines are ridiculously long but the memories i make every year are so precious to me. speaking of years, i realized i have been going to this con for like 6 years now holy shit. they should give me a veterans discount at this point. and speaking of earthquakes, the earth did quite the shake during the con. i barely felt it and honestly i think people are kinda overreacting but u know what if the big one comes im gonna spend it buried in anime merch. seee ya!

Friday 6/21/19 12:50 AM

LATE ENTRY BUT YESTERDAY (well 2 days ago technically but THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT) I WENT To the mall w my friends and we had a REALLY FUN TIME at the farmers market that was happening . i ate lots of yummy food and bought some cool lookin socks that are too big for my feet but its ok. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY WE RAN INTO TOP MODEL JUSTINE MAE BITICON. I MCFREAKIN LOST IT AND JUMPED INTO THE PHOTO WHEN I REALIZED WHO MY FRIEND WAS TAKING A PICTURE WITH. HERE IS THE PICTURE. ME ON THE RIGHT.

ANYWAY thats all i wanted to write about. tomorrow (well later today) im going to vegas to visit family for like 4 days i think. goodnight! i need to stop writing diaries late at night

Tuesday 6/18/19 9:30 PM

what UP party people its ya girl angelica in the house. i am EXHAUSTED but today was fun. my family n i went out for a day at the beach. it was colder and cloudier than expected but u know. the beach is the beach. i witnessed a seagull persistently try to steal this group of friends' panda express. even after they chased it away it kept coming back trying to grab the whole container!! it ended up taking a piece of teriyaki chicken which is terrifying....a bird eat bird world out here...

i went a bit feral and goblin-like n started collecting pretty rocks like in the days of my youth. i found a whole intact clam! idk why but i brought it home with me thinking i could keep it as a pet but im pretty sure it was dead when i found it. i'll find out when my dad cracks it open. maybe we'll eat it idk.

my dogs enjoyed themselves, at least i think they did. bunny as usual just likes to lay down and lounge while happy runs around w me and barks at seagulls. happy first experienced ocean waves today, he was like what the FUCK is this wet stuff???? silly boy. afterward we went to some outlet mall and i ate ice cream and a burger. i am so full. nomch. i was upset earlier today because my dad ate the mcmuffin i was saving but the burger i ate today was 10x better so its ok.

Sunday 6/16/19 9:44 PM

Whats up homies!!!! today is fathers day and its been cool. went to the bakery this morning for breakfast with my dad and brother. ate some yummy custard buns and drank a sea salt jasmine green tea, which is the best way to drink a jasmine green tea. after that we hit the park for some dog walkies and ate ice cream. there was a cool breeze but after a while of walking i got a bit sweaty;;; however it was very fun. i love being in nature and seeing the ducks roam around..wish i were a duck sometimes.

Friday 6/14/19 7:21 PM

HELLO!!!!!! LONG TIME NO ENTRY,,,IM SO SORRY. To be honest i totally forgot about this. I've had a whirldwind of a year. Finally finished my second year of college. Time flies by so fast!!! I'm on summer break once again and hopefully i'll be able to commit more time to tinkering around with this site. my coding skills are still super limited so i dont really know where to begin executing all the ideas I have...I added a new landing page tho! it's something i made in paint 3D! I've been really into 3d modeling lately. Anyways, i've been mostly lounging around letting the days pass me by. drawing every now and then. i really want to start developing my portfolio before junior year starts but ahhhhhhh drawing is hard T_T i've improved tremendously tho! very happy about that. i also saw BTS in concert last month and i haven't been the same since...

today i walked my dogs and ate mcdonalds. i'm gonna watch some jojo and then play around with some of the pages on here again. see u later! hope to write again soon.

Friday 7/13/18 10:37 AM

hello!!! it has been more than a month since i updated my diary im so sorry!! i've been really busy these past weeks. Anime Expo ended a few days ago and i've been in a funk since...it's made me hyperaware of the passage of time and how little i can do about it :( i just want fun time to last longer!! my friend suggested I keep a journal and log every day for about 40 minutes each night to help me retain more memories and ease my existential crisis. I might try to do that! I've also been doing a lot of drawing. I really want to start doing artist alley at some point but i need enough art to sell...anyway i applied to yet another boba place and i FINALLY GOT AN INTERVIEW it will be TOMORROW and i am ANXIOUS. also my boyfriend will be in australia until august 1 and i am missing him terribly. ok i have to go to the bathroom now. bye bye

Sunday 6/10/18, 12:42 PM

i am feeling nervous and sad for no reason again :(

Wednesday, 6/6/18, 1:20 PM

long time no entry! i've been quite busy these days. I was able to see my boyfriend last week. we got ramen at my fav place. it was yummy. i also called back the drink place i applied to n the girl who answered was unsure so i'm just waiting for a call back now...hopefully i'll get one. i also applied to my local forever 21. i just want a job!!! why is it so hard. anyway i recently started doing an art challenge. it's called mahou shoujune and basically i'll be drawing a magical girl for ever day of june! it's really fun. i'm on day 5 and i've been so happy with what i came up with. lastly, yesterday i got the keys to my first apartment which is super exciting. no more dorming!! ok that's it for today see u next time.

Saturday, 5/26/18, 9:52 PM

i did some drawing today. been feeling a bit down lately. i haven't called back the place i applied to yet bc i am what the kids call, nervous! i'll try to pick myself up out of this slump...i really want a job....i also really want to see my boyfriend :( it's been an entire month since the last time we saw eachother. i was planning on going out with him yesterday but my relatives came to visit so i had to postpone. we ended up being out for the WHOLE day and i'm exhausted. i'm trying for this week, except one of my aunts decided to extend her stay for another week so now my plans are all messed up again...i just want to see him!!!! hopefully my dad answers my text soon. i miss him so much. my boyfriend, not my dad. i see him everyday. i'm gonna go lie in bed now.

Thursday, 5/24/18, 10:18 PM

oof long time no see! it's been quite a busy week. today my brother graduated from the 8th grade!! time flies by so fast...i miss the days before his growth spurt and voice drop. he's a big boy now and i'm so proud of him!

i went out to michaels the other day to get some earring making supplies. they turned out really cute, but i want to talk about my issue with michael's right now. i don't have a problem with the store or how it's run, but rather what it does to my body. let me explain: every time i've gone to a michael's, EVERY SINGLE TIME, i've have to take a massive shit in the middle of my trip. without fail, while i'm perusing the paints and brushes, my stomach will churn and signal to my brain that i need to drop, squat, and pop right then and there. this wouldn't be so much of a problem but the thing is, the restrooms at michael's are locked and you need to ask an employee to unlock it. this is too much work when you're sweating and trying to keep it together just a little longer until you reach the toilet. i even took precaution on my most recent trip and didn't eat anything before going so I would be less likely to need to poop. it was all in vain. the arts and crafts atmosphere contains an energy too powerful it causes my body to immediately cleanse itself in the most carnal way. so that's my issue with the store. i will probably be going back to fetch more earring hooks.

i haven't heard back from the place I applied to last week. i'll probably give them a call when stuff calms down. however, i did get hired for a position at my college for when i get back! so exciting. i can't wait to finally make my own money. now i just need to learn how to drive. growing up is scary.

bye bye now

Friday, 5/18/18, 5:37 PM

today i conquered my fear and applied for a job! i felt great until after i handed in my application and left bc i realized. i forgot to fill in 2 boxes. i'm hoping my shining resume will help them overlook that but alas. fear grips me. oh well.

i took my dog to the park! she was so happy but she is 12 years old now so she got tired faster n decided to lay on the grass half the time. she's so valid. i started working out again and i am hungrier than ever. i just had an in-n-out burger and a pizza. i hope this doesn't set me back too much.....tho they do say abs are made in the kitchen...

bye for now!

Thursday, 5/17/18, 1:15 PM

I really want to know if anything lives in Europa's subterranean ocean...

Wednesday, 5/16/18, 10:53 PM

today was so fun and eventful!!! i woke up early to take the train with my friends to koreatown and meet up with 2 of our friends from school. we ate a yummy lunch at this place called kyodong noodle. there were a lot of noodles. however i've been eating so many noodles lately so i decided to order not noodles. i got a $15 plate of chicken covered in a creamy, spicy sauce and it was absolutely worth it. i was a bit intimidated by the size tho like holy shit. korean food places always have such enormous servings??? who eats that much??? i could barely finish it and ended up giving the last bites to my friend christine. then after lunch, we headed over to a bakery for a sweet treat. no matter how full I am i will ALWAYS make room for dessert because I am a dessert fiend. i got a really pretty slice of blueberry yogurt cake that tasted amazing and some royal pudding in a neat little bottle. it had a wonderfully light, creamy vanilla flavor. oof.

we walked around a bit before finally doing what we met up to do in the first place lol...set up the utilities for the apartment we are living in for the rest of college. it's so very exciting and adult wowie. after that we did some more shopping and I came home craving mcdonalds for some reason. i'm really tired now. there's some weird rumbling going on but i cant tell what it is or where it's coming from. anyway! ciao babies.

Tuesday, 5/15/18, 2:27 PM

Today is getting to be a really nice day. I had breakfast with my parents and then went grocery shopping with my dad after we dropped off my mom to a business meeting. We bought a lot of yummy ingredients at the Korean market: noodles, dashi stock, bulgogi marinade, more noodles. Dinners are going to be delicious for the next few days. Unfortunately I have not broken my streak of noodles...it's become such a staple part of my diet. I can't help it. They're so easy to make and so delicious and there a bunch of different ways to cook them. I need to start working out again...I really want a toned muscular body. Later today I'm going to take my dog out to the dog park. Woohoo! Maybe I can get some exercise in at the same time. I wonder where I can get some dumbbells...

on another note, i need to find a better way to organize my art page...the grid format is super cool but takes a while to load n i feel like it can be too cluttered...hmm...i dunno. also idk why i slipped out of perfectish grammar lol. this is more natural to me tho so maybe i'll stick to this way of writing from now on. hehe. the duality of man.

Tuesday, 5/15/18, 12:43 AM

I've finally decided what to do with this page! I wanted to do more cool things with layout, but this will have to do for now. It's so late already and I'm getting really sleepy....but I needed to do this one last thing! I would have gotten this done earlier, but I had to help my brother with his homework...oh well. I'll have plenty of time to make this website really pop! hopefully even figure out this html thing. One of my biggest goals. Goodnight everybody.